Rockin' Out

For a lot of people that know me…I know that I am directly associated with playing the drums. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love that. I grew up in the 90s…which means amongst a lot of things…I was exposed to the blow up of “contemporary Christian music,” which coincided with contemporary worship services at pretty much every church. My dad played guitar, sang, and eventually led worship at various local churches. This showed me both the beautiful and ugly sides of church from a young age…but it also set me on a path to something that would bring great rewards.

I started learning how to play drums around 5th or 6th grade…and as soon as I could keep a basic beat…my dad had me playing drums with him on Sundays. From then on, playing drums in church became a huge part of my life. I got to play with my dad every week, which as a dad myself now I’ll treasure forever. I got to play in my youth praise band, youth retreat bands, my college church’s worship bands, and literally every band at camp at one point or another. It became a passion. I often said I felt most connected to God when I was playing drums in worship. I miss that feeling dearly.

I played with lots of incredibly talented musicians…many who were way more gifted than I could dream to be. I broke lots of sticks, cymbals, and ear drums likely…not excluding my own. All that to say…I’m not sure I ever had more fun, or felt more fulfilled…than I did playing drums for the youth band at the church where I had my first full time youth ministry job.

After a long period of trying to find my first full time church job…I was hired at this church to be the assistant youth director. It was 30 hours a week…but I was still considered a full time employee. One of the responsibilities I had was leading the youth praise band. This is something that is widely expected of youth directors. If there was ever a youth director male doll…he would likely be wearing flip flops, cargo shorts, flannel, have a sick beard, and be holding an acoustic guitar. I’d often be seen with all the above…minus the guitar…so I think it was just assumed by people that I had one in the back ready to bust out on demand. Unfortunately that was NOT the case.

I was very familiar with playing drums, but that was really the extent of my musical abilities. So, when I was asked to lead this youth band…I was pretty apprehensive. Then I met the kids. I played with them, because lucky for me, they were losing their drummer. They were filled with both experienced musicians and fresh musicians alike. The experienced guys were guitar players…and by guitar players I mean they both could play and sing pretty much anything and were just as good if not better than anyone I had met at said things…but they preferred to play guitar or bass if given the choice. The youth who were newer to being musicians were obviously greener in their musical talent…but they learned quickly…and beyond that they were fearless and willing to try anything.

All of that came from their leadership. These guys loved to play worship music standards, but also wanted to try different more advanced stuff that most “adult” bands I was in wouldn’t have touched. They challenged me in every way a person and musician can be challenged…and I did my best to challenge them right back. I’d comb the internet for new songs…send them playlists…and they would always surprise me with their feedback. “This one sounds hard but really fun…we should do it.” “That one was super corny I can’t believe you even sent that to us.” “I hate this song…but I think our youth group would love it so let’s do it.” Or my favorite…”Matt have you heard THIS song? I really love it and want to try it.” I would try so hard to always find a way to say yes to that request.

Above their abilities, their adventurous spirit…I was always astounded by their loving and caring souls. The older kids in the band were always gentle, patient, and protective of the younger kids. They pushed them out of their shells…but made sure they knew the rest of us believed in them. They cared about people. They cared about what was right…and they weren’t afraid to speak up when they felt something was wrong. When I had to transition from “assistant youth director,” to “interim youth director,” they were the first kids I told. Almost all of them held back tears when given what little details I could give them. They stepped up for me in ways I’ll never forget. When I eventually decided to move on from that church…all of them knew it in their hearts before I could even tell them. They understood.

As a youth director…you’re not supposed to have favorites. I still would like to think I didn’t have “favorites.” There are kids you grow closer to. There are kids who when you’re anxious about a Wednesday or Sunday night…you see THEM walk through the door…and you relax a little bit. These kids were the purest example of that. They’ve all grown into amazing young adults who I’m proud to call friends. I’m proud to have known them. I sure miss playing music with them. Mostly I just miss them.